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But—oh, daddy-o—it riles me up! Some gearheads diss it, sayin’ it’s a rusty ol’ banger. Makes me wanna scream, “Get hip, you squares!” Sure, it’s got quirks—doors stick, leaks like a sieve, ha! But that’s the charm, yeah? Like Varda says, “the imperfect is fertile,” and this ride’s got soul, baby! Once saw a bloke polishin’ his Escort, talkin’ to it like a bird—mental, but I get it!

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But then, the mood shifted. I’m walkin’ past the Remuera Library, and I see this group of kids. They’re just bein’ loud and rowdy, and I’m like, “Chill, fam!” But then, one of ‘em trips and falls. Oof! I felt bad, but I couldn’t help but laugh. Kids are clumsy, man.

Deceased estate sold for $4m; seven charities benefit