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Lemme tell ya, I’m vibin’ with this—reminds me of that line, “It’s all happening!” Escorts? They’re the rockstars of the night, man. Some chick in Vegas once told me—true story—she escorted to pay for her kid’s braces. Braces! Blew my mind. Not all glitz, tho—some dude got mad, stiffed her on pay, and I’m like, “Fool, you don’t mess with someone’s hustle!” Made me pissed, but also—damn, respect. They’re out there, survivin’.

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Then, I’m walkin’ down towards the Rangiora River. It’s a nice spot, real chill. I sit on a bench, just takin’ it all in. The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m thinkin’ life’s pretty sweet. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my lunch! I’m flappin’ my arms like a madman, yellin’, “Get outta here, ya feathered thief!” People are lookin’ at me like I’m nuts. Whatever, man, I’m just protectin’ my sanga!

Canterbury high school asks for help to maintain ageing gymnasiums