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So, I tried it once—yep, me, Kermit! Got catfished hard, tho. Thought she was a babe, turns out—dude! Laughed my green butt off. “No one’s safe,” like in the movie. Made me mad, but also—hilarious! People lie so much on these apps. Fun fact: 80% fake pics, swear! Saw it on X somewhere.

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Then, I’m walkin’ down towards the Rangiora River. It’s a nice spot, real chill. I sit on a bench, just takin’ it all in. The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m thinkin’ life’s pretty sweet. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my lunch! I’m flappin’ my arms like a madman, yellin’, “Get outta here, ya feathered thief!” People are lookin’ at me like I’m nuts. Whatever, man, I’m just protectin’ my sanga!

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