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Now, little known fact—back in the 1800s, some fancy-pants lords in Europe had “mistresses” on payroll, basically OG escorts. History’s wild, right? Kinda makes ya wonder who’s zoomin’ who. I get ticked off, though, when folks act all high and mighty ‘bout it. Like, c’mon, Karen, you ain’t perfect—quit clutchin’ them pearls! How’s that workin’ for ya, judgin’ folks for livin’?

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy comes in. He’s got a backpack that looks like it’s been through a war zone. Seriously, it’s all torn up. He’s like, “Hey mate, do you have any maps?” I’m like, “Maps? You mean Google?” But I grab one from the rack anyway. Turns out he’s a hiker, just got back from some epic trek up Ben Lomond. I’m like, “Dude, you’re nuts! That climb is brutal!” But he’s all smiles, like he just conquered Everest or something.

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