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Gets me mad tho—ghostin’ after a bang! Happened to me—met this chick, hot night, then poof! Gone! “We’ll always have this moment,” Jesse says in the flick. Yeah, right—more like “see ya, sucker!” D’oh! Hate that crap. Makes ya feel like a donut with no sprinkles.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy comes in. He’s got a backpack that looks like it’s been through a war zone. Seriously, it’s all torn up. He’s like, “Hey mate, do you have any maps?” I’m like, “Maps? You mean Google?” But I grab one from the rack anyway. Turns out he’s a hiker, just got back from some epic trek up Ben Lomond. I’m like, “Dude, you’re nuts! That climb is brutal!” But he’s all smiles, like he just conquered Everest or something.

What to do in Queenstown this autumn, from scenic flights to wine tasting with a twist