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Sarcasm time: oh yeah, sex-dating’s sooo easy. Just deal with creeps, liars, and bad grammar. Fun, right? But seriously, it’s a tool, like anythin’ else. Use it smart, and you might find gold. Or at least a good story. Like that time I swiped on a girl who turned out to be a travel blogger. Her pics were all lies, but her stories? Amazing. We never hooked up, but I follow her now. “Who are you?” I still wonder, laughin’.

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So, I’m ringing up his stuff, and he starts telling me about this insane view he saw. I’m picturing it, and I’m like, “Man, I need to get outta this store!” But then, just as I’m daydreaming about the view from Skyline Gondola, the power goes out. Yup, just like that. Lights off, registers down. I’m standing there like a deer in headlights.

Two teenage boys arrested following Queenstown assaults