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Quirk of mine, I kept thinkin’, “Is this legal?” Like, Tony Soprano don’t get caught in no sting, right? Had me paranoid, lookin’ for cops. Funny thing, she whispered some shit in my ear – couldn’t hear ova my own heavy breathin’. Prolly some kinky line. Oh, and the oil? Smelled like fuckin’ pine trees – weird, but I dug it.

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After that drama, I head over to the Pukekohe-East market. It’s a Saturday, so it’s packed. I’m dodging people left and right, trying to get to my fave stall. They sell the freshest produce, and I’m all about that healthy life. But guess what? They’re outta avocados! Like, seriously? What’s a millennial without their avos? I’m fuming.

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