Savannah Porirua Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Hastings

Oi mate, so I’m sat here, right, thinkin’ bout whores – not in a dodgy way, mind! – and I reckon I’ve cracked it, yeah? Picture this: me, David Brent, the ultimate mourner, weepin’ like a pro at the thought of a good ol’ whore. Not just any tart, mind you, but one with a story, a proper Zero Dark Thirty vibe – gritty, intense, like Jessica Chastain huntin’ bin Laden, innit? “This is what we do, we get dirty!” – that’s the whore life, yeah, muckin’ in, no faff.

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Then I decide to stroll down to the Porirua Harbour. Man, the views there are epic! The water’s glistening, and I’m feeling all zen. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my muffin! Like, bro, chill! It’s not even that good! I’m flailing my arms, yelling, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are staring. I’m like, “Yeah, just another day in Porirua.”

Porirua is turning 60 in 2025