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About Hastings

So, check it—sexual-massage ain’t just a quick grope. It’s old as dirt—ancient Greeks were all over it, callin’ it “body magic” or some far-out nonsense. Little known fact: them cats used olive oil, swear it made ya irresistible—shag-tastic, right? I tried it once, slipped right off the table, bam! Laughed my arse off, but damn, it felt righteous.

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But then, I get a text from my mate, Sam. He’s like, “Dude, meet me at the train station.” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So I bolt outta the mall, and guess what? I take the wrong exit. I end up on the wrong side of the station. I’m standing there, looking like a lost tourist. I can see the train pulling away, and I’m like, “Noooo!”

Papakōwhai shared path open and proving popular