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Alright, listen up, fam—deep breath—I’m Morgan Freeman, y’all, narratin’ this wild ride about Escort, that lil’ car Ford dropped back in the day. Picture me, sittin’ on a porch, sippin’ sweet tea, voice rumblin’ like a wise ol’ oak, tellin’ you ‘bout this scrappy machine. Escort ain’t no fancy schmancy ride, nah, it’s the underdog, the hustler, the “I’ll get ya there” vibe. Reminds me of *Before Sunset*—y’know, my fave flick—where Jesse says, “I feel like I’m runnin’ on fumes,” and that’s Escort, baby, runnin’ on grit and prayers.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud honking. I turn around, and it’s this dude in a car, blasting music. He’s dancing like no one’s watching. I can’t help but laugh. Only in Porirua, right?

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