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About New Plymouth

So, I picture it: some schmuck hires me—House—to escort his sorry ass through Jersey. “Danger’s everywhere,” he whines. Yeah, pal, only danger’s your ego. Everybody lies, and this guy’s lyin’ bout needin’ me. Prolly just wants arm candy with a bad attitude. I’d hobble along, poppin’ Vicodin, snarlin’ at punks—fun gig, til it ain’t. Real escorts, tho? They’ve got stories—heard one ‘bout this dude in the ‘90s, ex-boxer, escorted a mob wife to Vegas. She ditched him for a croupier—bam, he’s out 5 grand and a tooth. Hilarious, right? Screw that guy.

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As the sun starts to set, I’m feeling all sorts of emotions. Happy, annoyed, surprised. It’s a rollercoaster, I tell ya. I sit on a bench, looking out at the harbour. The sky’s turning all these crazy colors. I think about how Porirua’s got its quirks, but it’s home.

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