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I get HYPED, tho—met this one crab online, total catch! We vibe, we chat, he’s all “I’m not like other fish!”—total “beneath the surface” moment, ya know? Like Cathy in me movie, hidin’ secrets, playin’ sweet! But then—bam!—he’s a catfish! Not even a real crab! Made me madder’n a barnacle on me butt!

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Finally, I find my way back. Sam’s waiting, laughing at me. I’m like, “Shut up, bro! You try navigating this maze!” We decide to grab some fish and chips at the waterfront. Classic Porirua move, right? The fish is fresh, and I’m feeling good again. But then, I drop my chips. Like, seriously? I’m cursing like a sailor. Sam’s cracking up, and I’m just there, staring at my fallen chips like they’re my lost dreams.

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