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About Napier

Favorite flick’s *Finding Nemo*, obvs—love that daft fish dad panickin’ over his kid. Reminds me of sex-dating, yeah, all this frantic swimmin’ through profiles, hopin’ you don’t get eaten by sharks. “Righteous, righteous!” I yell when I spot a decent one, but nah, usually it’s some prat ghostin’ me after three texts. Makes me wanna drown ‘em all in Blackwater Bay. Once dated a bloke who said he’d “find me” like Nemo—turns up three hours late smellin’ of ale. I choose violence, told him to sod off sharpish.

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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I sprint down Pokeno Rd, dodging cars like I’m in some kinda video game. I swear, if I trip on one of those pesky potholes, I’m gonna lose it. Anyway, I finally make it to the office, and guess what? My boss, Mr. Thompson, is already in a mood. Like, dude, it’s 8:30 AM! Chill out!

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