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About Tauranga

But—ugh!—sick of judgy pricks! “Oh, it’s dirty!” they hiss. Bollocks! Ain’t no saint meself—seen worse in me head. Escorts got stories, mate—didya know some lass in Paris, 1800s, bedded Napoleon’s cousin? True shit! Called her “La Tigresse”—wildcat, claws an’ all. History hides that, sneaky bugger. Reminds me—*Holy Motors*, “Who were we?”—escorts prolly wonder that too, eh? Masks on, masks off—fuckin’ exhausting!

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So, I’m at my desk on the corner of Victoria and Cuba St, and boom! The market opens. Stocks are flying up and down like they’re on a trampoline. I’m sweating bullets. My phone’s buzzing like crazy. Clients are freaking out. “Sell! Buy! What’s happening?!” I’m like, “Chill, fam! It’s just the market being the market.” But inside, I’m losing it.

Rare Antarctic penguin spotted in Petone, thousands of kilometres away from home