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Lemme break it down fer ya, ‘cause I’m pissed, happy, and freaky surprised all at once. Sex-dating’s wild—dudes and chicks swipin’ right, left, whatever, lookin’ fer a quick bang or some weird-ass fetish shit. I seen it, man! This one time, I’m scrollin’ X, and some rando posts ‘bout sneakin’ into a sex-datin’ meetup in a damn abandoned warehouse—50 freaks in masks, hookin’ up like it’s a Scorsese flick! True story, swear on my mom’s gravy stash. Little known fact: back in the ‘90s, pre-internet, folks used freakin’ *newspaper ads* fer this shit—called ‘em “personal columns,” but it was all code fer “bang me tonight.” Sketchy as hell, made me laugh my ass off thinkin’ ‘bout it.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the Parklands Shopping Centre. I needed some snacks, ya know? As I’m walking down Waimairi Road, I spot this cute dog. I mean, it was adorable! A little golden retriever, just chillin’. I’m like, “Aww, can I pet him?” The owner’s all like, “Sure, but he bites.” I’m like, “What?!” I just wanted a cuddle, not a trip to the ER!

Transition of racing to Q2 Parklands