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Oi mate, biochemist ‘ere, Ozzy Osbourne style – mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – talkin’ bout sex-dating, yeah! Sex-dating’s wild, innit? Like, mixin’ chemicals in me lab, but hornier. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, swipin’ right, gettin’ laid – pure chaos! Reminds me of *Wolf of Wall Street*, y’know? “I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!” – that’s me, scrollin’ profiles at 3 a.m., desperate for a shag. “Sharon!” – she’d kill me if she knew!

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After that chaos, I needed some fresh air. I headed to the Parklands Reserve. It’s this beautiful spot with trees and a playground. I plopped down on a bench, just soaking it all in. Kids were running around, laughing, and I’m like, “Man, I miss being a kid.” Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me and says, “You look like a superhero!” I’m like, “What? Me? Nah, I’m just a Saver.” But it made my day, ya know?

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