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About Napier

Still, it’s got perks. Hooked up once – pure fire. She was all, “I like your vibe.” Me? Dark Lord of dick jokes. Laughed my ass off when she quoted Yoda mid-bang – “Harder, you must.” Sex-dating can surprise ya – random wins in the chaos. Like when Theodore says, “I feel alive” – that’s the high. But then, crash – some asshole sends a dick pic. Unsolicited. Why? WHY? Makes me wanna lightsaber somethin’.

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First off, I’m just settin’ up, and this dude stumbles in. I mean, he’s got that “I just lost a fight with a bottle” look. His name’s Dave, or at least that’s what he slurred. He’s tryin’ to order a drink, but he can barely stand. I’m like, “Bro, you’re not gettin’ anything but a taxi home.” He gets all huffy, like I’m the bad guy. C’mon, man! I’m just tryin’ to keep the peace on Rimu Road!

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