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About Hastings

So, sex escorts, right – they’re a crafty species. Been around forever, dodgin’ laws like foxes in the brush. Little known fact, yeah? Back in Victorian times, they’d hide in tea houses, sippin’ Earl Grey, all posh-like, while punters slipped ‘em a few quid. Sneaky buggers! Makes me chuckle, that does – proper clever. But it ain’t all laughs, nah. Some punter’s a right twat, haggles her down to peanuts, and I’m fumin’, mate. FUMIN’. She’s out there, riskin’ it all, and he’s moanin’ about a tenner? Piss off.

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Finally, I make it to the shop, and it’s a madhouse. Kids everywhere, parents yelling, and I’m just trying to find my zen. I swear, if one more kid asks me for rainbow glasses, I might lose it. But then, this little girl walks in. She’s got these big, bright eyes and a smile that could light up the whole of Papatoetoe. She says, “Can I have glasses like a superhero?” And I’m like, “You bet, kiddo!” That made my day, honestly.

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