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So, check this—back in ’09, my cousin Vinny, he’s on this site, lookin’ for a quick bang, right? Meets this chick, “Tina”. Says she’s 25, hot as hell. Shows up—45, three kids, smokin’ a Newport! Vinny’s like, “I’m in chains here, man!” Straight outta that movie, “I’m a free man!”—but nah, he ain’t. He’s stuck buyin’ her wings at freakin’ Applebee’s! I laughed my ass off, but it pissed me off too—why ya gotta lie?

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into an old mate from high school. We start chatting, and he’s telling me about his new job at the local council. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then he goes on about all the boring meetings he has to sit through. I’m thinking, “Man, I’d rather watch paint dry!” But hey, at least he’s got a steady gig, right?

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