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It’s all ‘bout the tease, innit? Slow strokes, then – wham – yer floatin’. Like in *The Assassin*, “I’ve failed to finish it,” but nah, this ain’t failin’, it’s winnin’! I’m lyin’ there, oil drippin’, thinkin’, “Ozzy, you lucky sod!” Surprised me how it’s proper relaxin’ too – not just naughty bits, yeah? Them knots in me back? Gone! But don’t tell Sharon, she’d go mental – “Ozzy, you daft git!”

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TLC RELAX, Palmerston North, New Zealand. 58 likes. www.facebook.com SERVING IN PALMERSTON NORTH EROTIC SEXY www.facebook.com OIL SENSUAL MASSAGE PROVIDED.

After that, I thought I’d hit up the Farmers’ Market on Saturday. It’s always a good time. Fresh produce, local crafts, and all that jazz. But when I got there, it was packed! Like, I couldn’t even move. I was elbowing my way through the crowd on Main Street, trying to get to my fave stall. Finally, I made it, only to find they were sold out of my favorite cheese! I was like, “Noooooo! Not the cheese!” I could feel my heart breaking.

Cyclist critically injured after crash on outskirts of Palmerston North