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Ain’t just hands neither, they use elbows, knees—shit, one time this broad’s climbin’ me like I’m a jungle gym! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Look at this fuckin’ guy, livin’ large!” Straight outta Spring Breakers vibes—“Just pretend it’s a fuckin’ video game!”—‘cept it’s real, and I’m the player gettin’ played, ha! Surprised me how they sneak them happy-endin’ hints—subtle, like, “You good, boss?” Wink-wink, fuckin’ sly.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the Square. Palmerston North’s Square is like the heart of the city, ya know? It’s got that big ol’ clock tower, and everyone’s always hanging out there. I was just vibing, people-watching, when suddenly, this kid on a skateboard zooms past me and nearly takes me out! I mean, come on, dude! Watch where you’re going! I yelled, “Hey, you trying to take me out or what?” He just laughed and kept going. Kids these days, right?

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