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Sometimes I get all dreamy, wonderin if Malik from *A Prophet* woulda been on Bumble, smirkin at chicks with that line, “You’re my prisoner now.” Ha! Bet he’d kill it—cool, quiet, dangerous vibe. Me? I’d prolly suck at it—too busy overthinkin, mutterin to myself, “Don’t say somethin dumb, Phil!” Worst part? Them ghosters—folks who chat ya up, get ya all hot n bothered, then poof! Gone! Pisses me off worse’n a stepped-on rattlesnake. How’s that workin for ya, huh? Leavin people hangin like that?

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Finally, I get to the office on Aylesbury Street. I rush in, and my boss is already there, looking all serious. Ugh, I hate that look. He’s like, “You’re late.” I’m like, “Yeah, traffic, you know?” But he’s not having it. So, I sit down, and we start talking about this new system we’re implementing. Honestly, it’s a mess. I mean, who thought it was a good idea to change everything at once? It’s like trying to teach a cat to fetch. Just not happening.

Major Funding Boost for PURC’s Community Sports Hub