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Picture this: you’re laid out, candles flickerin’, some soft jazz hummin’. Hands start movin’, slow, teasin’, and bam—you’re floatin’. It’s like Kee in the movie, holdin’ that baby, whisperin’, “This is what keeps us goin’.” Sexual-massage does that—keeps ya goin’. Ain’t just about gettin’ off, tho, sure, that’s a perk—*laughs*—but it’s deeper, fam. Relaxes ya, wakes ya up, makes ya feel alive when the world’s all “We’re screwed, humanity’s done.”

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Next, I decide to take a stroll down Cascades Road. The views are insane! You can see the whole city from up there. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. I mean, who wouldn’t? The sky is blue, the trees are green, and I’m feeling all philosophical. Like, “What’s the meaning of life?” But then I trip over a rock. Classic. I’m like, “Okay, maybe the meaning of life is to watch where you’re going.”

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