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I’m hyped, man, ‘cause it’s all about choice—self-determination, baby! Some escorts out here sayin’, “Fuck the 9-to-5, I’m runnin’ my own show!” That’s dope as hell. Reminds me of Nemo, swimmin’ against the current, dodgin’ sharks—except here it’s dodgin’ judgy pricks. “Just keep swimmin’,” right? Hell yeah, they do! But, motherfucker, it pisses me off when folks shit on ‘em—callin’ ‘em names, actin’ like they’re better. Hypocrites, man, same dudes prob’ly sneakin’ a call at 2 a.m.!

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But then, I get a bit too into it and spill my drink. I’m like, “Seriously? Again?” My mates are rolling their eyes, but I just laugh it off. It’s been that kind of day, right?

What’s On in east Auckland this festive season