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Here’s a mad one—bloke I know, dental patient, swore he met his missus on a sex-dating site, but turns out she was a scammer! Catfished him for months, rinsed his bank account—*cackle*—what a prat! “Turned into a pig,” like in the film, ‘cept he didn’t even get a good porkin’ out of it! Surprised me, that—thought folk’d be smarter, but nah, horny trumps brains every time.

Shooting of man in Auckland shocks Pakūranga Heights neighbourhood

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Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about your reports.” I’m thinking, “Oh great, here comes the fun police.” But I’m trying to keep it cool. I’m like, “Sure, let’s chat.” But inside, I’m screaming. I mean, who wants to talk about reports on a day like this?

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