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But yo, the creeps? They’re everywhere. Dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume. Makes me wanna scream, “I must break you!” Chill, fam, she ain’t askin’ for that. Funny story – my boy Tony matched this girl, met up, turns out she’s a pro boxer. Beat his ass in bed *and* the ring. Hilarious, man, I died laughin’.

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Next, I decide to take a stroll down Cascades Road. The views are insane! You can see the whole city from up there. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. I mean, who wouldn’t? The sky is blue, the trees are green, and I’m feeling all philosophical. Like, “What’s the meaning of life?” But then I trip over a rock. Classic. I’m like, “Okay, maybe the meaning of life is to watch where you’re going.”

Police name man killed in Pakuranga Heights shooting