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This one time, I’m scrollin’, see this hot chick, right? Bio says “lookin’ for fun” – perfect, I’m in! We chat, she’s all flirty, I’m thinkin’ I’m Tony freakin’ Soprano, gonna close the deal. Meet up, and – surprise, surprise – she’s got a dude waitin’ in the car! What is this, a setup? Felt like Bigelow’s camera zoomin’ in, heart poundin’, “This is my life now!” I’m yellin’, “What’s this bullshit?!” She’s like, “Oh, he’s just my ride.” Yeah, ride this, lady! Walked away, fumin’, but kinda impressed – ballsy move, gotta give her that.

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Anyway, I finally made it to the Otara Town Centre. It’s got that classic Kiwi charm, you know? I popped into a local café for a flat white. The barista was super chill, and we started chatting about the local economy. I mean, I’m an economist, so I can’t help myself. We talked about how Otara is growing, but also how some areas are struggling. It’s a mixed bag, really.

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