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Oi, mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, y’know, the witty dwarf— “I drink and I know things.” So, grab a pint, let’s chat sex escorts, yeah? Been thinkin’ bout this since I saw *Her*—y’know, that flick where Joaquin falls for a bloody AI voice? “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you,” he says, all moony-eyed. Pathetic, right? But got me wonderin’—sex escorts, they’re like that, but flesh ‘n blood, not some posh Siri.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out the new café on Otahuhu Rd!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m knee-deep in logistics here!” But curiosity got the better of me. So, I sneak out for a quick coffee break. Best decision ever! This place has the fluffiest scones. I’m talking clouds of deliciousness. I almost forgot about the chaos back at the depot. Almost.

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