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I got into it once, this shady joint downtown. Dim lights, weird incense, chick named Lila – pro hands, I swear. Little known fact: ancient Greeks did this shit, called it “anatripsis.” They’d rub ya down, all sensual-like, for “health.” Yeah, right, health my ass – it’s horny vibes with a fancy name. Made me happy as hell, tho, tension gone, like poof! But pissed me off too – why’s it so damn pricey? $80 for 30 mins? Robbery!

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on the corner of King St. It’s buzzing with people. Fresh produce, crafts, and the best coffee. I grab a flat white, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m buzzing, feeling good, until I overhear this couple arguing about... wait for it... the best way to cook kumara. I mean, come on! Who knew kumara could spark such passion?

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