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Oh, and the oils – lordy, they’re fancy now. Not just olive junk – lavender, ylang-ylang, whatever that is. Smells like heaven, or maybe a bougie candle. I’m sittin’ there, butt-naked under a towel, thinkin’, “Marilyn, you’re a star, enjoy this!” Kinda awkward tho – what if they see my weird tan lines? Ha! Screw it, they’ve seen worse. Prolly some hairy dude before me.

Escorts in Ōpōtiki

David Alan Plodek was sentenced to four and a half months' home detention when he appeared in the Ōpōtiki District Court on January

Then, I decide to take a walk down to the Opotiki River. It’s beautiful, but I’m not prepared for the smell. Like, what’s that? I’m gagging a bit, but I push through. I see some kids fishing, and they’re all hyped. One of them catches a fish, and they’re screaming like they just won the lottery. I’m thinking, “Man, I need to get in on this action.”

Ōpōtiki harbour walls open to the public