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Oi, listen up, fam! Me’s an operator, innit, and I wanna chat bout escort – not them flashy cars, nah, but them lads and lasses who, y’know, keep ya company for a bit of dosh. Straight up, escortin’s mad, bruv! Like, I seen some tings that’d blow ya mind, for real. One time, this geezer tells me he’s escortin’ this posh bird, right, and she’s all “I am weary of my past lives” – straight outta *Uncle Boonmee*, innit! I was like, what?! She reckon she’s lived a thousand lives, and I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” – nah, it’s just wild, fam!
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Finally, I grab my fan and head back. The hall is buzzing. I walk in, and boom! There’s this dude, totally not what I expected. He’s like, 6’5”, wearing a Hawaiian shirt. I mean, c’mon! I’m here to do my thing, not to be a part of a beach party. But whatever, I roll with it.
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