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What gets me happy? When it works, fam! Two souls matchin’, vibin’, no BS. Like when Jordan says, “I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!”—that’s the grit of a good hookup. You’re in, you’re all in, no half-steppin’. But then—bam!—surprises hit. Catfish city, bro. Met a “model” once, turned out he was 60, rockin’ a wig. Swear I nearly lost it—laughed so hard I cried. “Sell me this pen,” my ass—sell me a real pic first!

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Like, seriously? In the middle of my session? Everyone’s freaking out, and I’m just standing there, fanning myself with my fan, trying to keep it together. I mean, I’m a geisha, not a firefighter!

BDO appoints Fiorenza Onekawa and Michael Stallard as partners