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So, sex escort gig—check this—been around since forever, yeah? Back in Rome, they had these lupanars, brothels with painted chicks on walls, like ancient Tinder. Blows my mind, mate! Gets me thinkin’—growling, “You merely adopted the dark”—‘cause I’ve seen cons pay top coin for a night. One time, this lag, Jimmy, smuggled cash in his arse—literal arse money—for a bird to visit. Desperate, sad, fuckin’ hilarious. Made me laugh, then pissed me off—why so pathetic, eh?

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So, I head back to Takapuna, and I’m thinking, “What a rollercoaster.” I’m finally ready to chill when I bump into an old mate from school. We start chatting, and it’s all good until he mentions that he’s moving to Australia. I’m like, “No way! You can’t leave me here!” But he’s all excited about it, and I’m just standing there, feeling a bit bummed.

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