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What gets my goat, though? Liars! Fellas sayin’ they’re six-foot, show up lookin’ like a hobbit. Or gals catfishin’ with filters—honey, I ain’t here for a surprise reveal! Had a pal, sweet as pie, met a guy online—turns out he’s married! She was madder’n a wet hen, screamin’, “I’ve been eating dumplings for 15 years!”—y’know, like in “Oldboy,” waitin’ fer somethin’ that ain’t comin’. Broke my heart, but I laughed too—poor darlin’!

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But then, I got a text from my mate. He’s like, “Yo, let’s hit up the hot pools!” I’m like, “Heck yes!” So, I dashed over to the Ngongotaha Hot Pools. It’s a bit of a trek, but totally worth it. I get there, and it’s packed. Like, everyone and their grandma decided to show up. I’m standing in line, and this kid in front of me starts crying. I mean, come on, it’s just water!

Reaching for the stars