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About Hastings

I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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Man, what a day! Ngongotaha, you wild little gem. I woke up thinking it’d be chill, ya know? Just another day in this quirky town. But nah, life had other plans.

One person dead after truck and car crash on SH5 near Rotorua