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So, what’s the scoop? It’s old—*ancient*, even. Heard some Roman dudes were all about it, callin’ it “luxuria” or some fancy crap. Rubbin’ and lovin’—kept their senators from goin’ nuts, maybe. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? Yeah, they did it too—secret menus, hush-hush, sneaky lil’ devils. Makes ya wonder, huh? Who’s still doin’ it today? Some spa down the street? Bet they’re hidin’ it behind “deep tissue” bullshit—ha! Cracks me up, thinkin’ folks pretend it’s all “therapeutic.” Sure, buddy, therapeutic my ass.

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Then I decided to stroll down to the river. The Waikato River, man, it’s a beauty! I love how it flows through this town. But today, it was like a scene from a movie. I’m walkin’ along the riverbank, and I see this family having a picnic. They’re laughin’, kids are runnin’ around, and I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches a sandwich right outta a kid’s hand! I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, that bird’s got some serious skills!

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