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Ay! Respect my authoritah! I’m talkin’ sexual-massage here, bitches! So, I’m like, a badass mechanic, right? Fixin’ cars, greasy hands, all that shit. But sexual-massage? Oh man, that’s a whole ‘nother engine to rev up! I’m thinkin’ ‘bout it, and it’s like – slippery, steamy, gets ya all tingly, y’know? Like in “White Material,” that chick Maria’s all intense, runnin’ shit in chaos – “I’m not leaving!” she yells. That’s me, kneadin’ some oiled-up back, goin’ “I’m not stoppin’, dammit!”

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But then, just as I’m hitting my groove, the sky decides to open up. Rain pours down like it’s the end of the world. I’m soaked, my guitar’s getting wet, and I’m thinking, “Really, universe? Really?” But the crowd? They’re loving it! Dancing in the rain like it’s some epic music video.

Western Province Cricket Association responds to food vendor closures at Newlands Stadium