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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage, awright? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s bloody wild, innit? Like, ya got these hands slidin’ all over, oil everywhere, an’ I’m thinkin’, “What’s hidden ‘ere, eh?” – straight outta *Caché*, that sneaky vibe. I’m lyin’ there, right, gettin’ rubbed up, feelin’ like a king, but also like – “Someone’s watchin’, I swear!” Hah, paranoid as fuck, me.

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Then, I get a call from my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “We need to talk about the campaign.” I’m thinking, “Dude, can’t you see I’m busy?” But I can’t say that, so I’m all professional. He’s rambling about colors and fonts, and I’m just nodding, but my mind’s on the beach. I’m like, “Can we do this later?” But no, he’s on a roll.

Easter Sunday sees two callouts for New Brighton Lifeboat