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So, picture this—some dimly lit joint, smells like lavender and sin. This chick—or dude, no judgement—starts rubbin’ ya down, slow, teasin’, like they’re sculptin’ a masterpiece. Little known fact? Back in ancient Rome, emperors got these rubdowns with freaky oils—olive, rose, messed-up aphrodisiacs—made ‘em feel like gods. Bet Nero was all, “More, ya pleb!”—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,”—while some poor sod worked his royal arse off. History’s wild, innit?

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Then, I get a call from my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “We need to talk about the campaign.” I’m thinking, “Dude, can’t you see I’m busy?” But I can’t say that, so I’m all professional. He’s rambling about colors and fonts, and I’m just nodding, but my mind’s on the beach. I’m like, “Can we do this later?” But no, he’s on a roll.

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