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About Christchurch

Oi mate, so I’m sat here, right, thinkin’ bout escort – not the dodgy sort, nah, the Ford Escort, legend of the roads! Me, David Brent, agronomist by day, car nut by night, reckon it’s a bloomin’ marvel. Proper workhorse, innit? Used to see ‘em everywhere, zippin’ round Slough, back when I was floggin’ paper at Wernham Hogg. Loved that gritty vibe – “The greatest love of all,” like in *Moulin Rouge!*, yeah? That car’s got soul, mate, pure soul.

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After that, I’m back at the station, and I’m just drained. I grab a coffee from the café down the street. Best flat white in town, no joke. I sit outside, tryin’ to catch my breath, when I see this street performer on the corner of Trafalgar and Montgomery. He’s playin’ the ukulele and singin’ some catchy tune. I can’t help but smile.

Dog found, man charged with burglary after Nelson SPCA break-in