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But lordy, the flops! This one gal I know, swears she’s done after a dude showed up with a pet snake—wrapped round his neck like it’s a damn date accessory. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? I’d be runnin’ faster’n a jackrabbit on a date with a coyote. And don’t get me started on the ghostin’—people vanishin’ like they’re in witness protection. “Life’s too short for small talk,” Toni’d mutter, and I’m like, yeah, but it’s too long for bad sex-dating stories.

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First off, I head down Hastings St. You know, the main drag. It’s got that Art Deco vibe, all pastel colors and funky buildings. I love it. But then, bam! I trip over some random dude’s bike. Like, c’mon, mate! Who leaves their bike in the middle of the sidewalk? I’m hopin’ I didn’t break my ankle. I’m a shoemaker, not a stuntman!

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