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We swears! Escorts, precious, they sneaky! Me loves "In the Mood for Love," all moody an’ slow, like escort waitin’ in shadows. Picture this, mate – classy bird in a tight dress, heels clickin’, waitin’ for some posh git. “Yesterday’s gone, my precious,” she whispers, like in the film, all sultry an’ sad. We swears, it’s not just shaggin’ – it’s a bleedin’ art! Got me thinkin’ – them escorts, they’re actors, innit? Playin’ a role, smilin’ when they wanna scream.

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New Mount Cook Prostitute · Masturbate · Dirtytalk · Kissing if good chemistry · Facesitting (give) for extra charge · Rimming (take) · Golden Shower (give) · Dildo.

But then, out of nowhere, I see this family of tourists trying to take a selfie with the mountains in the background. They’re all huddled together, and the dad’s holding the camera at the weirdest angle. I can’t help but chuckle. I mean, come on! It’s Mount Cook! Just point and shoot! I roll down my window and shout, “Hey, just aim for the peaks, not your feet!” They all turn and laugh, and for a second, I forget about my stress.

Bentley creates New Zealand-inspired Bentayga Aoraki SUV