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Precioussss, we swears! Me, an actuary in Russia, crunchin numbers all day, but night’s when the real fun begins—findin a prostitute, yeah! Mad Max vibes, “What a lovely day!” screamin in my head as I dodge sketchy streets. Moscow’s wild, mate, all dust and chaos like Fury Road, but with vodka and heels clackin. We swears! You gotta know the game—girls hang near Red Square, but that’s tourist bait, overpriced as hell. Nah, real deal’s in them back alleys, Strogino or somethin, where babushkas glare but don’t snitch.

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I get to the docks, and guess what? The shipment’s still not there. I’m about to lose it. I mean, come on! I’m standing there, looking like a lost tourist, when I spot a seagull eyeing my lunch. I swear, that bird had the audacity to swoop down and try to snatch my sandwich. I’m like, “Dude, back off!” I’m wrestling with this bird, and it’s just cawing at me like it owns the place. I finally shoo it away, but not before it leaves me with a nice little surprise on my shoulder. Great.

Search unable to resume for three foreign climbers missing on Aoraki Mt Cook