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About Hastings

Now, don’t get me wrong—ain’t all fun. Risks everywhere—cops, weirdos, STDs. You gotta be sharp, like me facin’ the Balrog. “Fly, you fools!”—that’s my advice if it goes south. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but one wrong move, and it’s game over, mate! Oh, and the cash—flies outta yer pocket faster than Sting cuts an orc. Surprised me first time—thought I’d bargained like a king, nope!

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I get to the docks, and guess what? The shipment’s still not there. I’m about to lose it. I mean, come on! I’m standing there, looking like a lost tourist, when I spot a seagull eyeing my lunch. I swear, that bird had the audacity to swoop down and try to snatch my sandwich. I’m like, “Dude, back off!” I’m wrestling with this bird, and it’s just cawing at me like it owns the place. I finally shoo it away, but not before it leaves me with a nice little surprise on my shoulder. Great.

Three mountain climbers believed dead on New Zealand's highest peak