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About Napier

Best bit? When it’s legit, oh mate, you’re floating – tension gone, like Churchill after a cigar. Little-known fact: in Japan, they’ve got “soaplands” – sexual-massage with bubbles, been around since the ‘80s! Blew my mind, googled it at 3 a.m., knackered but buzzing. We shall fight on the slippery tables, we shall conquer stress! Exaggerating? Maybe, but who cares – it’s a riot!

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After that, I’m feeling pretty good. I swing by the local fish and chip shop on the corner of St. Andrews Road. I order a classic – fish, chips, and a pineapple fritter. I sit down, and it’s like heaven. The crunch, the salt, the grease – it’s all perfect. I’m munching away, and this seagull swoops down, trying to steal my chips. I’m like, “Not today, feathered thief!” I wave my arms like a madman, and the bird just stares at me, judging. I swear, it’s like they know they’re the real bosses of the beach.

11 Ripon Crescent, Meadowbank, Auckland City