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So, this one time, right, I tried it. App says, “hot singles near ya!” Lads, I’m in me shed, alone, ha! *wiggles eyebrows* Met this bird, chatted, all sexy-like. She goes, “Perhaps it’s fate.” I’m thinkin’, fate? Bloke, it’s Wi-Fi! *slaps knee, snorts* Made me happy, tho—someone fancied me! But then, ghosted! Poof! *waves hands like magician* Gutted, I was. Angry even—why bother, eh?
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Then, I get to the shearing shed. It’s packed. Like, way more than usual. Turns out, there was a sheep shearing competition today. I’m thinkin’, “Oh great, just what I need. More pressure.” I’m already sweating like a pig, and now I gotta compete with these pros?
‘An unforgiving environment’: Student’s death in Matamata train accident not the first
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