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Oi mate, so prostitute, yeah? *trips over imaginary chair* Oof, blimey! I reckon they’re proper tricky, y’know? Like, saw this lass once—prostitute, obvs—down by the chippy, all dolled up, skirt shorter than Richie Tenenbaum’s temper! *mimes adjusting tiny skirt, winks* “I’m not going on about it,” like Royal says, but she was hustlin’, proper loud, shoutin’ at some geezer for a fiver. Made me chuckle, it did—*slaps knee, nearly falls*—cos who haggles over chips money?

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I’m sitting there, doodling on my notepad, trying to focus. But all I can think about is how I need to get outta there. I mean, who cares about the budget? Just build the park already!

In Loving Memory of Walter Massey, 77