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About Napier

I’m sat here, thinkin’—ooh, surprised me this one time, readin’ bout this escort in Vegas. Bird set up her own app—cut out the middleman! Genius! “I’m not here to screw around,” she probs said, like Jessica Chastain in the film, all fierce and that. Made me happy, that did—girl boss vibes! Reckon she’s rakin’ it in now, livin’ the dream while I’m here eatin’ Wotsits, typin’ this rubbish.

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First off, I hit up the local dairy on Massey Rd. You know, the one with the best pies? Yeah, that one. I grabbed a mean steak and cheese. I was ready to conquer the world. But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Jake. He’s like, “Bro, you gotta help me move!” Ugh, moving? Really? But I’m a good mate, so I said, “Fine, I’ll be there in 20.”

78 Raglan Street, Mangere East, Manukau City