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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a stockbroker in Mahora is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. One minute you’re up, the next you’re screaming down. So, let’s rewind to this morning. I woke up late, of course. Alarm? What alarm? I jumped outta bed, threw on my lucky tie—yeah, the one with the fish on it. Gotta love that quirky vibe, right?

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