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About Wellington

So, picture this—me, poking thru a shady claim. Some geezer says his Escort got totaled, right? Swears a lorry smashed it, boo-hoo, tears and all. I’m like, “Fella, I’ve seen more life in a corpse I’ve carved up.” Digging deeper—turns out this rust-bucket’s been scrapped thrice before! Thrice! Bloke’s faking claims like it’s a bloody art form. Made me mad as hell—wasting my time, my genius, on this crap? Rude. Very rude. "I let my mind wander," like Adèle in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*, and sniffed out the scam quick.

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I start the stream, and it’s going great! People are vibing, chatting, and I’m feelin’ the love. But then, outta nowhere, my cat, Whiskers, jumps on my keyboard. I’m talkin’ full-on cat attack. He’s hitting buttons like he’s trying to DJ or something. I’m laughing, but also panicking. I’m like, “Dude, not now!”

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